a discourse on a function called life ....

int life(int *min_age, int max_age); // function that executes life from "min_age" till "max_age" and returns status "1" for bad life and status "0" for a wonderful life

int desperate_call_to_life(int *age)
{
*age=5;
status = life(age, (*age+18));
return status;
}

int main()
{
int *age;

while (1){
if(*age ==23 && !strcmp(occupation, "corporate")){

status = desperate_call_to_life(age);

if (status == 0 )
{
break;
}
}
*age++;
}

return 0; // main should never return unless we had a wonderful life
}

I happened to write this function on facebook reading one of my friends comments. I wish life was such simple as a C program that executes as said. Instead life is so complicated that the thread stack would not be suffice to store all the parameters of life.

life (int parameter_a, int parameter_b, ....)

Think of a mathematical polynomial function LIFE = L(f) = f(x,y,z, .........) with infinite and dynamic variables (a dynamic variable is a variable which gets introduced into our lives without a hint or rather premonition) Sometimes it is a blessing to have such a dynamic variable bring happiness in our life. Sometimes such a variable can defer the happiness and sometimes it can bring bigger problems with it.

The curve of this exceptional function cannot be drawn immaculately on a piece of paper, the function needs to be lived. Some parameters are involuntarily introduced into our function while some we can control. Think about it and decide which controlled parameters we can throw out. (for eg : laziness, smugness, smoking, drinking, etc ....)

Afterall some visionaries could discern their own curve and inject some better parameters of hard work and sacrifices into their own function to live their vision.

Puneite ....

"Pune is said to be the educational and cultural hub of India..." wait .. I have a question. Is it really?? If I were someone from a different planet and came to visit the earth and wanted to know of all the cultures and was suggested to visit Pune, what would I conclude about the great Pune culture?

Here is the human readable version of the analog message I would transmit back to my planet ......

Pune is said to be the cultural hub of India. FYI, India is a country on planet Earth and Pune is a city. Damn these earthlings, they have such abstractions to obscure the real truth. Earth is divided into several countries, yes divided, by some virtual borders not visible from outer space (wierd, aint these earthlings are ... ) An individual needs to get a visa (means permission) ... pch .. such recondite rules; to cross these borders. Anyways I would like to keep this message short and wont digress any further.

Pune is full of youth, zeal and enthusiasm. I did not feel a bit secluded during my 6 years of stay here. Even though I preferred solitude in the past I am a changed person. I am a Puneite and a puneite is never a drab. The most satisfying part of Pune is the climate. Pune is blessed with warmth and compassion. Get up in the morning, take a walk and you'll know why Pune is called beautiful. The warm sunlight, the cool breeze and the beautiful gals enjoying the morning walk (okay ... it is more of a strut showing off their debonair mannerisms) Come evening, and it is time to hang around the hot spots. In Pune, no time is a bad time to hang out with friends. Come weekends, start your bike and vrooooom along the nearby ghats. The uncanny ghats will never disappoint you and will provide all the thrill in monsoons. Never miss the monsoons in Pune. Plan a trek every weekend in monsoons.

The space travel, the intra cellestial super bowl or the CPL (cellestial premier league) which we are proud bragging about, is nothing but an incomprehensible drivel for these Pune gals. If you wanna hit on a Pune gal, please do listen to Jay Sean, Plain White T's, Taylor Swift, Beyonce, Justin Timberlake, A.R. Rehman, Enrique and do not miss "Hotel California" and "Summer of '69". The gals love suave, elegant and genial men. The gals are attention seekers and be sure to praise every thing they wear/carry. I miss being a student in Pune. It is a blessing in disguise.

The student mantra "start your bike and enjoy the ride". wait ... did I say, enjoy?? Sorry, my bad. I now come to the saddest part of Pune. Traffic!!! The people of Pune are helpful and friendly only when they are not driving. The most irritating part is that people do not know the difference between upper and dipper. They merrily flaunt the "upper" even under bright street lights. When asked to switch to dipper they say "Should I concentrate on upper and dipper or on driving?" This is a generic response from gals. Guys are better at saying that the dipper wont work!!! *$#^@&@* Worse expletives could be mentioned, but I refrain from writing them here since our bandwidth is secure and needs to be kept bland. Such expletives could block the message. I could teach you some when u get here ;)

Be aware of a PMT (please google first) ahead of you. It can irrationally turn 30 degrees in one swing of its steering. Rikshaws are so agile that they can turn 90 degrees given any instant. Some rikshawalas upgraded themselves to cabs and so a cab too can irresistibly turn by any angle. Lane rules are not followed in Pune. People change lanes more frequently than the promiscuous Casanova changing bedroom mates.

.... and one more thing, please google Pune's traffic, Kaka Halwai, Chitale bandhu, Desai Ambewale, Shrimant Dagdushet Halwai ganpati, marathi literature, e-square, inox, cadB-cadM, University of Pune, Fergusson College and PICT and ofcourse to enter India you need to know of the two legends Sachin Tendulkar and Lata Mangeshkar.

Puneite I have been and will remain so until, shit ... damn it scotty!! I asked you to beam me up years ago!!

close encounters...

It was 6 : 15 PM, Saturday the 13th. I was wearing a long lost shirt. I thought about wearing this shirt twice before I donned it. It was the same shirt I was wearing a few months back when a large hefty truck had bumped into my bike's bum. I was in a shock to see my bike under the truck's large tyre and the crumpled tail lights nearby. I shook off the morbid fear and started towards KP(Koregaon Park). I was enroute KP with a friend. It was such a great evening. I took the kirkee signal and speed past the roaring traffic across the Mumbai Pune Highway into a small desolate road leading towards Bombay Sappers. I could see the red sun towards the western horizons added with fresh breeze and some meager amounts of carbonmonooxide. It was never so pleasant to drive across the Holkar Bridge with such low amounts of unwanted carbon forms. I was about to drive across Bombay Sappers when my instincts suggested I better go to Shoppers Stop and buy some gifts for the V-Day.

I took a turn towards the kirkee war cemetery and joined the crowded wakdewadi road again. Believe me, it is such an ordeal to drive on these Pune streets. Anyways I can have another blog on Pune's traffic, but for now lets go back to wakdewadi road. Entered the mall, searched for a never seen before kind of a gift, did not find it, search failed. Thought I would get a gift from KP. Was about to return to my original quest towards KP, when my friend's dad called and gave the news. "DO NOT GO ANYWHERE, RETURN HOME ASAP". My phone buzzzzzed. I saw the message. SHIT SHIT SHIT.......

I was so dumbfound that I started perusing each letter in the message carefully. It clearly said "BOMB BLAST IN GERMAN BAKERY. DO NOT GO TO KP". It was a different feeling. Had I not turned towards Shoppers Stop, I could have seen the blast live, worse I would have my mouth full of some charred brown bread sandwich and a free tanned/charred skin in return. And the worst feeling of all, I could be the one to open the bag full of explosives. It was a chaos, a turbulence in my head. Took some time. Cooled down, composed and was back to myself again. Thought I would go to KP and provide whatever help needed. Well I could donate some blood if needed. But then the adrenaline dozed off after some senti calls from home. "Adhich gharachya lamb rahatoas" and all sort of stuff.

Came to my apartment, listened to what the news channels had to say and tried to sleep. Could not sleep and started writing (in fact typing) .... the benevolent hunch ....

some random thoughts on "GOD" ...

You might wonder what will I talk about GOD. It is the jabber of a recluse, a secluded depressed and a "failed in life" kind of a person. All the young brawny brains like me are thinking why am I even talking (or in fact writing) gibberish. But, if seen from a different angle, you know of what I am talking and can comprehend the jabber. It makes such a difference of thought when we change perceptions abruptly and be more aware of our own mistakes and accept them.

It is the same way when we have to hit on a beautiful gal and we counter all her "NO's" into a "YES" in an intelligent and subtle way. Consider the following statements, "Mumbai belongs to me" and "I belong to Mumbai" . This is a perfect example of subtle, cautious and calibrated statement with abrupt change of perceptions. It makes such a difference when I say "I belong to Mumbai" and not the other way round.

Can we think the same way about GOD and its creation? We say that GOD defies logic but instead an abrupt change in perception will make you think that GOD is actually a part of logic to save the sanity in this world. We always say that GOD created the universe and eventually humans. Instead we can say that we humans created GOD. And it seems to be logical. GOD came into existence with the humans. The humans created logic and also saw logic being defied by nature. So as to preserve the sanity of logic humans coined the term "GOD". Anything that defies logic is a creation of GOD. Call it GOD or X or Y or anything else but this variable (X or Y or GOD) perfectly fits in to save logic.

I am not an atheist. I believe in the ultimate power and I call it the variable "X" in an unsolved polynomial equation of life rather than calling it GOD. After all we are humans and we have to follow a nomenclature to be called "sane", but again an abrupt change of perceptions brings me to the realization that being sane actually means, understanding the fact that the nomenclature and the myths about GOD are just abstractions and are virtual functions provided by the framework of life which we have to implement so as to live our lives happily. The implementation of these interfaces changes according to the milieu in which we live. Designing the virtual interface cognates with the logical term called "Planning" and the unique implementation of such an interface can be called the "Pursuit of Happyness" :)

Every individual has some properties bequeathed from its parent classes. The individual has to provide interfaces for its parents, spouse/husband and children.

The Law : The number of interfaces an individual has to provide is equivalent to the number of interfaces he has to implement.

It is the responsibility of the individual to implement the virtual function provided by its parents, partner and children so as to lead a happy life together. And the chain continues.

So ultimately going back to where I started, GOD is nothing but the object oriented concept we use and religion is the object oriented language we use. The language can be as crude object oriented as "C" and as fine as "Java".